1 00:00:03,310 --> 00:00:39,179 It's Channel 6 Action News. 2 00:00:41,899 --> 00:00:43,579 Ah, action news. 3 00:00:43,579 --> 00:00:46,920 The last place an impressionable kid can go for TV violence. 4 00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:49,859 Now, here's your action anchor, Kent Brockman. 5 00:00:50,299 --> 00:00:51,359 Hello, I'm Kent Brockman. 6 00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:55,159 Our top story's tonight, a tremendous explosion in the price of lumber. 7 00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,640 President Reagan dies. 8 00:00:57,820 --> 00:01:00,759 His heir, says Gary Trudeau in his new musical comedy review. 9 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:04,540 But first, let's check the death count from the killer's storm 10 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:06,939 bearing down on us like a shotgun full of snow. 11 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,359 Well, Kent, as of now, the death count is zero. 12 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,519 But it is ready to shoot right up. 13 00:01:12,519 --> 00:01:13,959 Oh, my God. 14 00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:15,599 Damn you, snow! 15 00:01:16,420 --> 00:01:17,900 All right, snow day! 16 00:01:18,019 --> 00:01:19,000 No school tomorrow. 17 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,739 That doesn't mean you don't have to do your book report. 18 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,420 What if the weatherman is wrong? 19 00:01:24,719 --> 00:01:27,459 Lisa, that man is a professional meteorologist. 20 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:29,439 Kent, I'd like to remind everybody 21 00:01:29,439 --> 00:01:32,180 to come down and watch me at the Springfield Laugh-N-Brew 22 00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:34,000 in burgers and fries this Saturday. 23 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,099 The forecast calls for a 75% chance of hilarity. 24 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:39,700 I like those odds. 25 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:59,480 you're gonna eat a blizzard of unseasonable warmth i made the snowball from the frost in our 26 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:09,169 nice pj simpson did your mommy buy him for you of course she did who else would have 27 00:02:09,169 --> 00:02:14,629 all right simpson you win this round 28 00:02:14,629 --> 00:02:22,770 okay it's book report time we'll do them alphabetically today it's a through m i'm saved 29 00:02:22,770 --> 00:02:29,069 i love being a simpson let's see we have no a's so let's go right to the b's 30 00:02:29,069 --> 00:02:37,949 bart huh mrs krabubble i didn't attention this is principal skinner your principal 31 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:42,930 with a message from the principal's office all students please proceed immediately to an assembly 32 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,030 in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium. 33 00:02:45,509 --> 00:02:47,530 Damn it, I wish we hadn't let the students name that one. 34 00:02:48,289 --> 00:02:51,710 Children, the times, they are becoming quite different. 35 00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:54,669 Test scores are at an all-time low, 36 00:02:54,949 --> 00:02:57,669 so I've come up with these academic alerts. 37 00:02:58,229 --> 00:03:00,050 You will receive one as soon as your grades 38 00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:01,629 start to slip in any subject. 39 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,909 This way, your parents won't have to wait 40 00:03:03,909 --> 00:03:05,349 until report card time to punish you. 41 00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:07,289 How innovative. I like it. 42 00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:09,830 Hey, Dolph, take a memo on your Newton. 43 00:03:10,409 --> 00:03:11,229 Beat up Martin. 44 00:03:11,229 --> 00:03:19,280 All right, first academic alert. 45 00:03:19,819 --> 00:03:20,879 Wiggum, Ralph. 46 00:03:21,039 --> 00:03:21,800 I won! 47 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,169 No, no, Ralph. 48 00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:27,870 This means you're failing English. 49 00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:29,430 Me fail English? 50 00:03:30,129 --> 00:03:31,030 That's impossible. 51 00:03:31,930 --> 00:03:35,210 Muntz, Nelson, you're failing history, geography, and math, 52 00:03:35,370 --> 00:03:37,189 but you're doing quite well in home ec. 53 00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:39,169 Hey, keep it down, man. 54 00:03:40,509 --> 00:03:41,110 Simpson. 55 00:03:42,169 --> 00:03:42,770 Lisa. 56 00:03:44,069 --> 00:03:45,810 Grades are all I have. 57 00:03:46,150 --> 00:03:47,409 What could I be failing? 58 00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:49,949 I'm smart and a teacher's pet. 59 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:55,930 Jim, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. 60 00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:08,330 Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning. 61 00:04:08,729 --> 00:04:10,349 I really hope you try harder. 62 00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:12,090 That's all of them. 63 00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:15,189 And I'm so proud you didn't try to forge my name. 64 00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:16,790 How about a present, son? 65 00:04:17,009 --> 00:04:19,089 Well, I could use a new pair of hockey skates. 66 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,170 Done and done. 67 00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:21,370 That's not fair. 68 00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:24,610 Why is Bart getting a present and I'm getting chewed out? 69 00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:26,750 Ah, the mysteries of life. 70 00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:28,230 Tell you what, Simpson. 71 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:32,470 I won't fail you if you join one of those peewee teams outside the school. 72 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:35,649 You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition 73 00:04:35,649 --> 00:04:38,329 to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory? 74 00:04:38,829 --> 00:04:40,490 Look, I don't need this. 75 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:43,230 I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning. 76 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,959 Children, that was our only ball. 77 00:05:01,199 --> 00:05:02,579 There'll be no team this year. 78 00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:03,500 Aww. 79 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:10,339 This is really scary. 80 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,560 I'm going to get my first F ever. 81 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:13,819 Cheer up. 82 00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:15,199 So you're not good at sports. 83 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,759 It's a very small part of life. 84 00:05:16,939 --> 00:05:19,439 Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports. 85 00:05:19,699 --> 00:05:22,300 March, Bart rides up in the front seat today 86 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,199 because he's a good guy at sports. 87 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,060 I think Lisa needs to feel a little special tonight. 88 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,980 How about letting her ride up front too? 89 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,009 I tried. 90 00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:37,649 Okay, son, just remember to have fun out there today. 91 00:05:37,649 --> 00:05:40,970 And if you lose, I'll kill you. 92 00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:51,939 All right, pigs, beat those characters. 93 00:05:57,579 --> 00:06:00,379 I could have been equipment manager, but no. 94 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:14,319 Our goalie cannot stand up. 95 00:06:15,199 --> 00:06:16,259 Tell you what, get some rope. 96 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,480 Defense, defense, come on, you call that blowing. 97 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:41,100 Oh, yes, we won! We won! We won! 98 00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:44,000 Um, unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, 99 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,959 we won't be going for pizza. 100 00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:49,759 Well, boy, you won. 101 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,139 So I'm going to live up to my side of the agreement. 102 00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:55,300 Here's your turtle, alive and well. 103 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,040 Aw, thanks, Dad. 104 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,040 How about some adulation for my little sister? 105 00:07:01,339 --> 00:07:03,160 Wow, Bart, I'm so impressed you were able 106 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,720 to give Millhouse a concussion. 107 00:07:05,139 --> 00:07:06,800 Well, you're just jealous 108 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,240 because you stink 109 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,959 at sports. 110 00:07:11,519 --> 00:07:12,560 Cut it out, bud! 111 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,420 Good work, Dex. 112 00:07:14,959 --> 00:07:16,319 Oh, you know, I wonder 113 00:07:16,319 --> 00:07:19,060 if her skills will transfer over 114 00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:20,079 to the game of hockey. 115 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,459 Well, only one way to be sure. 116 00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:24,220 Heads up, little girl! 117 00:07:27,829 --> 00:07:30,050 The goalie of my dreams! 118 00:07:32,449 --> 00:07:33,810 Let's try a hard one 119 00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:35,189 to make sure it wasn't a fluke. 120 00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:41,649 My teeth! 121 00:07:41,990 --> 00:07:43,129 Yeah, that's it, Milhouse. 122 00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:44,110 Keep up the chatter. 123 00:07:49,290 --> 00:07:52,629 Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, 124 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:53,689 and it hasn't, 125 00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:56,310 it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, 126 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,209 such as hard oil wrestling, 127 00:07:58,589 --> 00:07:59,329 boxy boxing, 128 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:00,649 and such and such. 129 00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:03,529 I think women should be able to play any sport men play, 130 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,709 but hockey is so violent and dangerous. 131 00:08:05,889 --> 00:08:07,509 Look at Milhouse's teeth. 132 00:08:08,149 --> 00:08:09,870 Mom, will you stop showing us those? 133 00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:14,410 I have to join the team or I'll get an F that will haunt me for the rest of my life. 134 00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:19,670 I now pronounce you President of these United... 135 00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:20,589 Stop the inauguration. 136 00:08:20,889 --> 00:08:24,970 I just discovered a President-elect got it up in second grade gym class. 137 00:08:26,189 --> 00:08:31,269 In that case, I sentence you to a lifetime of horror on Monster Island. 138 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,129 Don't worry. It's just a name. 139 00:08:33,129 --> 00:08:42,899 it was just a name what he meant is that monster island is actually a peninsula 140 00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:52,370 do you have my teeth no 141 00:08:52,370 --> 00:09:01,429 okay hot shots now that my daughter is on your team i want to make a few things clear 142 00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:03,590 Please, Dad, I'll be fine. 143 00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:07,990 I don't want anyone to give her a hard time 144 00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:09,230 just because she's different. 145 00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:11,309 No jokes, no taunting. 146 00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:14,470 Look, that kid's got bosoms. 147 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:15,669 Who's got a wet toe? 148 00:09:16,629 --> 00:09:18,029 Come here, you butterball. 149 00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:20,549 Don't make me run. 150 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:21,929 I'm full of chocolate. 151 00:09:23,509 --> 00:09:34,720 You two can sit here laughing at poor Lisa 152 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,759 while she's out there probably scared to death. 153 00:09:36,759 --> 00:09:39,539 We're laughing with her, Marge. 154 00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:40,960 There's a big difference. 155 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,159 Waaaaaah! 156 00:09:42,159 --> 00:09:42,879 Baaah! 157 00:09:42,879 --> 00:09:48,019 Ha ha, with her. 158 00:09:48,019 --> 00:09:50,279 You really think I did okay out there, Mom? 159 00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:51,899 Absolutely, honey. 160 00:09:51,899 --> 00:09:55,159 By blocking the net, I really think you helped your team. 161 00:09:56,159 --> 00:09:57,500 Okay, little buddy. 162 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,419 Hop in. 163 00:09:58,419 --> 00:09:59,740 Up ya! 164 00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:02,240 I mean, my little girl buddy. 165 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:06,720 That's very nice, Dad, but it's wrong for you to reward violent competitive behavior. 166 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:10,500 However, I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love. 167 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,960 Okay, hon. 168 00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:13,059 Sucker! 169 00:10:13,059 --> 00:10:15,059 Competitive violence, that's why you're here! 170 00:10:20,659 --> 00:10:42,669 We are having our best season ever, and I would like to say that it is because of teamwork. 171 00:10:43,549 --> 00:10:46,590 Who am I kidding, huh? It's all because of Lisa. 172 00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:47,789 Let's hear it for Lisa! 173 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,559 Hey Bart, if Lisa's better than you at hockey, 174 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:57,200 does that mean you're gonna become better than her at school? 175 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:04,360 Oh, maybe I will, Milhouse. Maybe I will. 176 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,960 Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson. 177 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,279 The square root of 36? Bart Simpson. 178 00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:19,639 Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson? Bart Simpson? Bart Simpson? 179 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,940 Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand? You haven't had one right answer all day. 180 00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:24,840 Sorry. 181 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,840 This is for wasting teachers' valuable time. 182 00:11:29,539 --> 00:11:35,000 Lay off, guys. He's with me. 183 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:39,100 It's a lucky coincidence you happen to be your sister's brother. 184 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,120 Don't worry, Bart. They won't bother you anymore. 185 00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:48,669 I hardly ever let Mother fight for me anymore. 186 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,230 Sorry, Bart. I'm going to hang out with Lisa. 187 00:11:52,769 --> 00:11:53,649 For protection. 188 00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,590 And to be seen. 189 00:11:56,909 --> 00:12:00,379 Come watch TV with me, Dad. 190 00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:02,179 We missed the first two episodes of Cops, 191 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,159 but if we hurry, we can catch the last three. 192 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:05,600 Oh, sorry, Bart. 193 00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,419 Lisa and I are going out for a gelato. 194 00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:10,179 We'd ask you to come, but... 195 00:12:10,179 --> 00:12:10,919 you know. 196 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,730 Bart, I can spend some time with you. 197 00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:17,029 I don't know, Mom. 198 00:12:17,149 --> 00:12:18,870 Don't have a stereotypical view of me 199 00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:19,870 just because I'm your mother. 200 00:12:20,549 --> 00:12:21,029 I know. 201 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,470 How about we play the basketball? 202 00:12:24,129 --> 00:12:26,149 I'm no Harvey Globetrotter, but... 203 00:12:26,149 --> 00:12:26,850 Aw. 204 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,990 Watch out for the Shaq attack. 205 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:32,610 Ow. 206 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,610 I told you to watch out. 207 00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:37,610 Hey, Milhouse, knock down if he's in your way. 208 00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:41,690 Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the mustache. 209 00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:43,690 Shin Guard, hack the bones. 210 00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:49,000 Wow, eye of the tiger, mouth of a teamster. 211 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,000 Just think of all the time I wasted on you. 212 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,000 Uh, well, not wasted. 213 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,000 Uh, I love you. 214 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:04,440 Special little winner, a big, big hug. 215 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,639 Ma, I think I'm all hugged out. 216 00:13:08,759 --> 00:13:10,100 Oh, one more. 217 00:13:15,019 --> 00:13:16,399 Hello, Queen Lisa. 218 00:13:16,779 --> 00:13:18,679 Bart, what are you doing in my room? 219 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:23,279 Lisa, certain differences, rivalries, if you will, have come up between us. 220 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,659 At first I thought we could talk it over like civilized people. 221 00:13:27,299 --> 00:13:32,220 But instead, I just ripped the head off Mr. Honey Bunny. 222 00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,840 Bart, that was your cherished childhood toy. 223 00:13:35,659 --> 00:13:37,100 Ah, Mr. Honey Bunny! 224 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:41,840 Quiet down, Bart! 225 00:13:42,039 --> 00:13:43,320 Bart, just get out of here. 226 00:13:43,519 --> 00:13:45,320 Hey, it's a free country. You get out. 227 00:13:45,419 --> 00:13:46,500 That doesn't make sense. 228 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,299 I know you are, but what am I? 229 00:13:48,419 --> 00:13:49,639 Get out! Get out! 230 00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:54,379 Okay, but on my way, I'm going to be doing this. 231 00:13:55,259 --> 00:13:59,559 If you get hit, it's your own fault. 232 00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:03,240 Okay, then I'm going to start kicking air like this. 233 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:08,960 And if any part of you should feel that air, it's your own fault. 234 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,179 I better go check that out. 235 00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:25,159 Now, Homer, don't you eat this pie. 236 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:26,559 Okay. 237 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:29,879 All right, Pie, I'm just going to do this. 238 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:34,240 And if you get eaten, it's your own fault. 239 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:39,240 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 240 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,240 My... Oh, to hell with it. 241 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,240 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 242 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,240 Ah! 243 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,240 Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 244 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:52,700 It was really annoying. Bart started it. 245 00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:54,700 Uh-uh, Lisa started it. 246 00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:55,700 I don't care who started it. 247 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:58,700 I don't ever want to see you two fighting like that ever again. 248 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,700 We love you both. You're not in competition with each other. 249 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,700 Repeat. You are not in competition with each other. 250 00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,600 with each other. 251 00:15:06,919 --> 00:15:08,460 Hey, a pooja's called. 252 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,440 This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. 253 00:15:11,779 --> 00:15:13,120 You're in direct competition. 254 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,159 And don't go easy on each other 255 00:15:15,159 --> 00:15:16,419 just because you're brother and sister. 256 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,960 I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love. 257 00:15:20,559 --> 00:15:22,600 Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. 258 00:15:29,559 --> 00:15:32,000 All right, I'm going to make a little deal with you mugs. 259 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,919 I'm going to let you all out to see my team play the hockey game 260 00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:37,120 if you promise to return to your cells. 261 00:15:37,659 --> 00:15:38,860 Sorry, Pig. 262 00:15:38,860 --> 00:15:40,840 We can't make that promise. 263 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,299 All right. All right, I'll sweeten the deal. 264 00:15:43,779 --> 00:15:45,820 You can see the game. You don't have to come back. 265 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,080 But you have to promise not to commit any more crimes, okay? 266 00:15:50,519 --> 00:15:51,100 No. 267 00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:52,679 I'll take that as a yes. 268 00:15:55,299 --> 00:16:02,100 Versus Lisa, who will win? 269 00:16:02,299 --> 00:16:03,580 Her father's fat... 270 00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:09,429 Hey! 271 00:16:10,409 --> 00:16:12,970 That's obsession for men. 272 00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:15,990 That's ketchup. 273 00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:21,409 You'll have to do better than that tonight, chump. 274 00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:26,289 I asked for ketchup. I'm eating salad here. 275 00:16:26,870 --> 00:16:30,070 I won't have any aggressive condiment passing in this house. 276 00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:31,830 Hello. 277 00:16:32,409 --> 00:16:33,490 Oh, what are you doing here? 278 00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:37,669 What, what, a bartender can't come by and say hi to his best customer? 279 00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:39,370 Hey, how you there, Midge? 280 00:16:39,590 --> 00:16:41,490 Oh, gee, I like what you've done to your hair. 281 00:16:41,629 --> 00:16:43,649 You caught me at a real bad time, Mo. 282 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,409 I hope you understand I'm too tense to pretend I like you. 283 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,809 And how are the little kids doing? 284 00:16:49,129 --> 00:16:50,629 I mean, really, how are they doing? 285 00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:51,809 Any disabling injuries? 286 00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:54,909 Something, say, that the gambling community might not yet know about? 287 00:16:55,269 --> 00:16:56,470 Come here, let me see those knees. 288 00:16:56,789 --> 00:16:58,230 Moe, I think you should leave. 289 00:16:58,289 --> 00:17:00,289 But Blanche, you gotta help me out here, please. 290 00:17:00,389 --> 00:17:01,850 I'm 64 grand in the hole. 291 00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:03,909 They're gonna take my dumbs. 292 00:17:09,619 --> 00:17:11,519 Good luck tonight, sis. 293 00:17:12,039 --> 00:17:13,660 I'll try not to hurt you. 294 00:17:13,779 --> 00:17:17,059 Don't worry, I'm wearing my lucky rabbit's head. 295 00:17:17,859 --> 00:17:20,380 Mr. Honey Bunny, you inhuman monster! 296 00:17:20,619 --> 00:17:21,819 You want a piece of me? 297 00:17:23,339 --> 00:17:24,619 Stop it! Stop it! 298 00:17:25,059 --> 00:17:26,980 Conserve your precious hatred for the game. 299 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,519 Now that we're all alone, Marge, admit it. 300 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:30,859 You like Lisa best. 301 00:17:31,039 --> 00:17:31,480 No. 302 00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:33,259 Oh, so you're a part woman, are you? 303 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:33,859 No. 304 00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:36,079 Well, you can't possibly like Maggie best. 305 00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,019 What has she ever done? 306 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,599 Nothing for nobody. 307 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:41,700 Homer, we can't root for one child over the other. 308 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:44,559 You wouldn't like it if the kids played favorites with us. 309 00:17:44,559 --> 00:17:46,039 Hey, Mom! Look at me, Mom! 310 00:17:46,059 --> 00:17:49,400 Mom! 311 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:51,339 Hi, kids! 312 00:17:51,339 --> 00:17:55,380 And now, to honor America, here's Krusty the Clown. 313 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:59,960 Oh, say can you see 314 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:11,660 What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming 315 00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:13,940 Shouldn't have turned down those cue cards. 316 00:18:15,279 --> 00:18:38,539 Beer on, Marge. I love you. 317 00:18:38,539 --> 00:19:14,559 he tripped my vengeance i want vengeance jimbo jones called for tripping a penalty shot will 318 00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:22,539 be taken by bart simpson oh my god marge a penalty shot with only four seconds left it's your child 319 00:19:22,539 --> 00:19:27,380 versus mine the winner will be showered with praise the loser will be taunted and booed until 320 00:19:27,380 --> 00:19:28,740 Oh, my throat is sore. 321 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,279 Get her, boy. 322 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:37,619 I'm dead, little girl. 323 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:40,559 Kill Bart! Kill Bart! Kill Bart! 324 00:20:26,230 --> 00:20:42,559 Great game, Lise. 325 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,440 Great game, Bart. 326 00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:56,000 I've never been so proud of them. 327 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,160 They're both losers. Losers! 328 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,359 Rip off! 329 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,859 We paid for blood! 330 00:21:06,859 --> 00:21:08,859 Let's tear this place apart! 331 00:21:08,859 --> 00:21:10,059 Good idea! 332 00:21:12,059 --> 00:21:19,440 Those kids are, like, so sweet. 333 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:25,240 If only they had had pee-wee hockey when I was a lad. 334 00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:28,039 Oh, well. 335 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:29,400 Shh!