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Developing a balanced and amateur personality is one of the main goals of adolescence.

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In order to do that, it is essential that we learn emotional skills.

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The American psychologist Daniel Goldman talked about emotional intelligence in order to explain

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this.

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I'm sure that you know some people that are very clever with mathematics but are not very

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good at making friends.

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This person has a lot of mathematical intelligence but lacks emotional intelligence.

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So what is emotional intelligence?

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Emotional intelligence is the ability to know what you feel and what other people feel and

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the ability to manage your own emotions in a positive way.

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It is extremely important in order to have a good relationship with other people.

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So one very basic objective of the period of life you are experiencing now is that you

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develop a good emotional intelligence.

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Daniel Goldman identified five different elements that form part of emotional intelligence.

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The first one is self-awareness, which means being able to identify what you feel and being

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able to express it.

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The second one is self-control.

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This means the ability to control what you do with your feelings.

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Of course, you cannot control what you feel.

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You cannot decide if you're angry or you're happy, but you can control what you do when

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you experience these feelings.

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That's what we call self-control.

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The third element is self-motivation.

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Self-motivation is the ability to find reasons in order to persist doing what we do to achieve

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our goals.

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I'll give you an example.

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Some students find it hard to study.

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They don't like it very much, but then they think how important it is for them to have

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a certificate or to find a good job in the future.

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So they find reasons to continue studying even if they don't like it very much.

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These students can motivate themselves to find reasons to continue to persist studying.

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The fourth element Goldman talks about is empathy.

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Empathy is the ability to place yourself in the other person's position, or as we say

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in English, on the other person's shoes.

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If you can place yourself in the other person's position, you can imagine how he or she feels

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and what he or she needs, and that is extremely important in order to have a good relationship

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with them.

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Finally, the last element Goldman talks about is the ability to develop interpersonal skills.

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What are interpersonal skills?

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Interpersonal skills are the abilities that help us to have a good relationship with others.

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For example, a very important interpersonal skill is the ability to ask someone a favor

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or to apologize when we make a mistake or to coordinate a group or to solve conflicts

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using dialogue.

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These five elements are extremely important in order to develop your emotional intelligence.