1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:16,520 My name is Sophie, I'm 26. My stepfather used to beat me up and all that. When I was a child 2 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:24,560 and a sexual abuse, I had to take. At age 14 and a half, I smoked my first joint. I started to 3 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:31,040 smoke and went right on to coke on aluminium. I prostituted myself for cocaine and I shot up in 4 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:40,520 squats and all that. I don't know where I'm doing anymore. On the street you live with violence, 5 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:52,960 rapes, squats and drugs. Drugs helped me a lot and at the same time disappointed me a lot. I've 6 00:00:52,960 --> 00:01:00,800 become a wreck. I don't have the pretty face I used to have. I'm very jealous of people with 7 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:07,960 their kids who take care of them, who show them love in front of me, hugs and kisses. I'm there 8 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:14,440 on my own, sitting in the bus and I watch them. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. It's like 9 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:21,800 that song. I'm all alone in the world. I can say that again. 10 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:54,840 My name is Bas. I'm 24. My life is nothing more than surviving. My mother was murdered when I was 11 00:01:54,840 --> 00:02:10,000 around 12. At 12, 13 and 14, I was on heroin. When I think back on it, it was mad. And the first thing 12 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:21,720 you know, you need money and you even sleep with men. You do anything, man. You're broken. You're 13 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:30,640 hurt all over. You do anything. Look at me. Take me as an example. I mean a negative example. Look 14 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:37,600 at me. My teeth are broken, everything. I'm a wreck. I'm psychologically destroyed. Without 15 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:47,600 methadone, without drugs, I'm depressed. Family, friends. That's a thing of the past. By the time 16 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,280 you realize it, you're already destroyed. 17 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:21,200 My name is Monica and I'm 32. I didn't have a father. I had a stepfather. He used to beat me and rape me. 18 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:32,360 The rape started when I was six. I felt totally alone. At age 17, I started sniffing cocaine. It was a way 19 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:43,200 out. A way of escaping the feelings I had at the time. I think it was my best friend and my worst 20 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:52,560 enemy. I'm ashamed and at the same time, I'm furious. I've always felt alone since I was a little girl. So I 21 00:03:52,560 --> 00:04:02,800 turned to drugs. I've had to do lots of awful things in my life because of drugs. I abandoned my children, lots of 22 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:15,880 terrible things, and I still felt alone. But even worse, because of everything I had done in my life. So why do it? 23 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:22,280 Why get hooked on a substance when it gives you nothing in return, other than make you feel or believe you're 24 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,280 worse than you really are? 25 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:52,320 I'm Robin. I've just turned 38. I have two children. I'm a multiple drug addict. I have two children. I'm a 26 00:04:52,320 --> 00:05:01,720 multiple drug addict. I take everything. Prescription drugs, heroin, cocaine, hash, alcohol, everything. Once I fell 27 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:11,920 asleep because of heroin, fell into my plate of spaghetti. My son was at the table. So obviously, it wasn't a good thing to do. 28 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:19,920 Afterwards, I wanted to go to the toilet in the bathroom to shoot up. I thought the door was locked. All of a sudden, the door 29 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:32,120 opened. It wasn't closed. And he saw me. That was, let's say, I hate myself for that, obviously. I would rather have shown my 30 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:45,400 son a different father from what I am now. He's seen me in situations I'm ashamed of. And I'm sure, let's say, 99.9% that my two 31 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:54,400 kids won't touch drugs because they have me as an example of what it does. I have one foot in the grave and the other in prison. 32 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:36,800 I'm Jane. I'm 34 now. As a child, I was quite, let's say, mistreated. For example, when I was very small, I was forced to take ice cold showers 33 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:48,800 and then locked up naked in the cold cellar for hours. I had my nose broken a few times. When that's what you live, you start on drugs pretty young. 34 00:06:49,800 --> 00:07:14,800 You think of nothing but drugs. You don't care about anything else. Life without drugs is much better. You don't have the impression you're shit. 35 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:22,800 I have to have the courage to be better because this junkie's life is not worth living. 36 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:50,800 My name is Isabelle. I'm 34. I've never, never lied to my daughter. She knew perfectly well I was on drugs. She knew what drugs were. 37 00:07:50,800 --> 00:08:05,800 I've never lied to her. Yep. Prostitution. Yep. All that. She knew everything. At that time, I was hooked on white powder. She would see me and she'd understand because she had already seen her father hit me. 38 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:14,800 When I used to cry because he had hit me, she would come downstairs without making any noise so her father wouldn't hear and she would tell me, 39 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:26,800 take your medicine, mum. I know you need it. When you see how you used to be and what you've become, there's no comparison. 40 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:43,800 A few years ago, I swear, I was different. I had very long hair. I was also well-dressed. I can say I wasn't bad. Now I'm just a carcass and that's the truth. 41 00:08:43,800 --> 00:09:12,800 I don't think my children would touch that because they've been through it. Seeing what it does counts for a lot. 42 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:27,800 I'm a teenager. I'm 17. I started taking drugs when I was about 11. Partied like my mates. Everybody smoked a bit. I was sort of a fad at school. 43 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:46,800 I went to these free parties, rave parties and that's why I started taking stronger drugs. A lot of ecstasy and then cocaine and then LSD, a lot of LSD and then ketamine. 44 00:09:46,800 --> 00:10:12,800 My parents' money was enough at first and then little by little I was taking more and more and I had to start dealing. I thought freedom was doing what you wanted, taking drugs. Then you start to realise that you're not free anymore, that the drugs are stronger than you are. You can't control it. It's not possible. 45 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:42,800 My name is Jose Manuel. I'm 34. My whole life has been wasted on drugs, on taking drugs, stealing, looking for money to buy drugs. 46 00:10:43,800 --> 00:11:08,800 If you take heroin, you don't think of anyone but yourself and your next dose. The worst for me was letting my girlfriend prostitute herself. I didn't tell her to go ahead but I knew where she was going and I didn't say anything. 47 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:36,800 I let her do it. That really marks me. It was for the money, so she could bring in some money so I could buy my fix. It didn't matter to me. Saying things like, I'm going to stop little by little or tomorrow I'll quit, those are just lies. It's meaningless because you never do. 48 00:11:38,800 --> 00:12:07,800 I slept in the streets, I've stolen, I've been to prison, to centres. 49 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:29,800 That's the normal life of a drug addict. If I had to give a piece of advice, it's that I realise today that I've destroyed a big part of my life and I also realise that there are better things, more important things in life than drugs or alcohol, more important things. 50 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:47,800 Me, for example, I have a niece. We take drugs and we start thinking about everything around us. It's like to be able to get back the lost time and enjoy life like everyone else. 51 00:12:47,800 --> 00:13:10,800 So stay off drugs, that's all. Stay off drugs. Stay off drugs, that's all. My dream would be to live a few more years and to be able to wake up in the morning with a smile. 52 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:46,800 I'm Leonor, I'm 38. I've taken cocaine and drunk a lot of alcohol, whiskey. Why did I start? To experiment. 53 00:13:46,800 --> 00:14:05,800 The forbidden fruit is always better. It wasn't because of lack of love, no. I always had my family's, my grandmother's love and attention. I had everything I wanted. I had the best clothes. No, it was just because I like to break the rules. 54 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:25,800 I regret. I have so many regrets. At age 38, I regret all the stupid things I've done. It's all my fault. It's not society that's responsible. No, it's my fault. I'm the one who tried. I'm the one who liked it. I'm the one who took the drugs. 55 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:36,800 It wasn't society, it wasn't the world. It's not easy to quit. It's so easy to start, but quitting is really hard.