1 00:00:01,780 --> 00:00:32,909 hey what gives you said you wanted to live in a world without zinc jimmy 2 00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:38,350 well now your car has no battery but i promised betty i'd pick her up by six i better give her a 3 00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:50,950 call sorry jimmy without zinc for the rotary mechanism there are no telephones dear god 4 00:00:50,950 --> 00:01:00,340 what have i done oh think again jimmy you see the firing pin in your gun was made of 5 00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:02,240 Yep. Zinc. 6 00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:05,659 Come back, Zinc. Come back. 7 00:01:06,439 --> 00:01:10,299 Come back, Zinc. Come back. 8 00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:12,659 Zinc! Zinc! Zinc! 9 00:01:12,719 --> 00:01:12,980 What? 10 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,540 Oh, it was all a dream. 11 00:01:17,239 --> 00:01:25,260 Thank goodness I still live in a world of telephones, car batteries, handguns, and many things made of zinc. 12 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,500 Gross, he's picking his nose. 13 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:34,700 If anyone wants to learn more about zinc, they're welcome to stay. 14 00:01:35,239 --> 00:01:36,680 We can talk about anything. 15 00:01:37,819 --> 00:01:39,560 I'll do your homework for you. 16 00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:41,799 Hmm. 17 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,980 Oh, Chef Lonely Hearts. Soup for one. 18 00:01:48,819 --> 00:01:50,420 One scratch and win, Apu. 19 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:53,959 Mrs. Krabappel, I haven't seen you since we doubled our prices. 20 00:01:54,420 --> 00:01:55,099 Still teaching? 21 00:01:55,359 --> 00:01:55,879 Let's see. 22 00:01:58,140 --> 00:01:59,719 One more day at least. 23 00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:07,480 bingo bango sugar in a gas tank your ex-husband strikes again 24 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:25,639 a personal ad why not it might be fun kind of a lark 25 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:33,280 come on come on answer the phone i need a man 26 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:57,289 people people all right you know i can wait just as long as you knock it off uh boys and girls 27 00:02:57,289 --> 00:03:02,830 let's welcome our very special guest ted carpenter from the twirl king yo-yo company 28 00:03:02,830 --> 00:03:14,060 kids this is a yo-yo kind of dull huh not much competition for a video game or is it 29 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:36,569 Presenting the Twirl King champions, Mr. Amazing, Sparkle, Zero Gravity, and the Cobra. 30 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:41,930 Those guys must be millionaires. 31 00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:44,849 I'll bet they get all kinds of girls. 32 00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:48,069 I question the educational value of this assembly. 33 00:03:48,349 --> 00:03:50,310 Hey, it'll be one of their few pleasant memories 34 00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,810 when they're pumping gas for a living. 35 00:03:52,050 --> 00:03:56,569 This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius. 36 00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,110 Age of Aquarius. 37 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,340 Now for our next stunt, 38 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:11,139 what do you say we get your principal up here? 39 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:11,520 No. 40 00:04:14,759 --> 00:04:16,139 Careful now. 41 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,000 Oh, that one grazed my ear. 42 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,959 Don't move, you could really get hurt. 43 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:21,579 Oh. 44 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,180 How much do those yo-yos cost? 45 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,579 I don't care. 46 00:04:24,819 --> 00:04:25,139 Bye. 47 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,300 Thanks, Sparkle. 48 00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:31,259 Wait, this isn't you. 49 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,639 That's the old Sparkle. 50 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,860 All right, get your worthless butts in the van. 51 00:04:34,939 --> 00:04:36,000 We got three more schools to do. 52 00:04:36,079 --> 00:04:37,300 Come on, let's go, go, go. 53 00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:52,699 That's your trick? 54 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,319 No, here's my trick. 55 00:05:01,639 --> 00:05:02,040 Whoa. 56 00:05:02,899 --> 00:05:04,120 Thank you, thank you. 57 00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:06,040 All right, come here. 58 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:14,790 Can you believe it? Pretty soon I'll be able to quit my job and live off the boy. 59 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:18,990 What? Name me one person who's gotten rich by doing yo-yo tricks. 60 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,250 Donald Trump? No. 61 00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:23,329 Arnold Palmer? No. 62 00:05:23,829 --> 00:05:25,629 Bill Cosby? No. 63 00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:27,329 No! 64 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:31,029 After two months at sea, the pilgrims were running out of food and water. 65 00:05:31,449 --> 00:05:32,009 Yes, Nelson? 66 00:05:32,129 --> 00:05:33,490 Did they have any yo-yos? 67 00:05:33,649 --> 00:05:35,629 No, they did not have yo-yos. 68 00:05:35,629 --> 00:05:40,029 When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the friendly Wampanoag Indians. 69 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,610 Do the Indians have yo-yos? 70 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:42,930 No, they did not have yo-yos. 71 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:44,009 That's it. 72 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,889 They were sick and tired of talking about yo-yos. 73 00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:55,629 From now on, I will not accept any book reports, science projects, dioramas, or anything else on yo-yos or yo-yo-related topics, am I making myself clear? 74 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:56,629 Yo. 75 00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:01,350 Hey, Bart, got any new tricks for us today? 76 00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:02,230 Just one. 77 00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:05,250 A little something I call plucking the pickle. 78 00:06:05,629 --> 00:06:07,750 I build up a little steam and... 79 00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:13,480 I didn't do it. 80 00:06:14,879 --> 00:06:17,279 Don't worry about your wee fish, lass. 81 00:06:17,699 --> 00:06:19,439 They're going to a better place. 82 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:23,360 Bart, that's one month's detention. 83 00:06:23,639 --> 00:06:28,180 Mrs. Krabappel, we're all upset by the untimely deaths of Stinky and Wrinkles. 84 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,220 But life goes on. 85 00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,399 So if I could just have my yo-yo back... 86 00:06:32,399 --> 00:06:35,939 Bart, if I were you and you were me, would you give back the yo-yo? 87 00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:37,680 There you go. 88 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:38,860 Just kidding. 89 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:39,800 Here you go. 90 00:06:40,259 --> 00:06:41,019 Just kidding. 91 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,040 Well, would you? 92 00:06:45,519 --> 00:06:45,920 Absolutely. 93 00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:55,110 What's eating you, woman? 94 00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:57,089 Your personal agent said you wanted a man. 95 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,329 Well, you got yourself a humdinger. 96 00:06:59,589 --> 00:07:00,250 I don't know. 97 00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,769 I guess I expected something different from your photo. 98 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,670 Don't let my age fool you. 99 00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:06,970 It's because there's a little snow on the roof. 100 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:09,029 And forget how the rest of that goes. 101 00:07:10,170 --> 00:07:11,470 One month's detention. 102 00:07:11,649 --> 00:07:12,730 She'll pay for this. 103 00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:14,050 Yep. 104 00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:15,490 There's your problem. 105 00:07:16,029 --> 00:07:18,490 Someone jammed a Malibu Stacy head down here. 106 00:07:18,810 --> 00:07:20,949 Edna, happy hour in the teacher's lounge. 107 00:07:21,029 --> 00:07:21,649 Just a sec. 108 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:31,240 Huh? 109 00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,759 One plus one equals two? 110 00:07:34,259 --> 00:07:39,060 Recently divorced fourth grade teacher wishes to meet man age 18 to 60. 111 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,319 Object, save me. 112 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:46,060 Write Edna K, box 402. 113 00:07:49,610 --> 00:07:50,170 Hmm. 114 00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,769 Dear Edna, 115 00:07:52,769 --> 00:07:58,930 I never answered a personal ad before, but I found yours irresistible. 116 00:07:59,589 --> 00:08:00,769 My name is... 117 00:08:04,529 --> 00:08:05,410 Woodrow. 118 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:09,990 I like holding hands and dinner by candlelight. 119 00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:14,189 And oh yes, I really hate yo-yos. 120 00:08:14,629 --> 00:08:15,629 Oh, Woodrow. 121 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:23,540 Maybe we should let the dog in. 122 00:08:23,639 --> 00:08:25,879 Marge, dogs love the outdoors. 123 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:31,500 I think he needs a doghouse. 124 00:08:31,639 --> 00:08:32,779 Yeah, but what are you going to do? 125 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:35,139 I bet we could buy a nice doghouse for $50. 126 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,220 Marge, you're a tool of the doghouse makers. 127 00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:40,259 I am not. 128 00:08:40,399 --> 00:08:41,440 Yes, you are. 129 00:08:41,580 --> 00:08:45,200 You've been brainwashed by all those doghouse commercials on TV. 130 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:46,659 I know. 131 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,759 I'll build him a doghouse. 132 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,360 Oh, I don't know. 133 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:51,720 Don't worry. 134 00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:53,559 I just drew up a little blueprint. 135 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,559 Now, let me walk you through it. 136 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,019 This is a door. 137 00:08:57,539 --> 00:08:58,899 He goes through the ad. 138 00:08:59,220 --> 00:09:00,340 This is the roof. 139 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,899 And this happy character here is the sun. 140 00:09:03,039 --> 00:09:04,580 He shines down on the house, see? 141 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,299 How was detention today, dear? 142 00:09:07,519 --> 00:09:08,340 Oh, not bad. 143 00:09:08,659 --> 00:09:10,320 Starting to get the hang of the floor waxer. 144 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:14,080 Yes! 145 00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:16,860 Dear Woodrow, I must admit I'm intrigued. 146 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:18,820 You're not like the other men I've met. 147 00:09:19,039 --> 00:09:22,120 Yeah, I'm the 28th president of the United States. 148 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,980 But I've had some bad experiences with these ads, 149 00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:26,960 so I'd like to learn more about you. 150 00:09:27,159 --> 00:09:28,120 Please write back soon. 151 00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:30,980 Here's a photo that'll get your pencil moving. 152 00:09:32,899 --> 00:09:35,100 You've got a date with the Xerox machine. 153 00:09:36,899 --> 00:09:37,779 Stupid lumber. 154 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,080 Damn it! 155 00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:42,320 Oh, hell with this. 156 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,460 A fella came into the store today and asked for change for a dollar. 157 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,940 Well, sir, I gave him three quarters by mistake. 158 00:09:49,299 --> 00:09:50,940 Took me the whole afternoon to track him down. 159 00:09:51,159 --> 00:09:52,860 Todd, would you like some mixed vegetables? 160 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:53,720 Hell no. 161 00:09:54,659 --> 00:09:55,820 What did you say? 162 00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:58,179 I said I don't want any damn vegetables. 163 00:09:58,460 --> 00:09:59,860 All right, that's it, young man. 164 00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,799 No Bible stories for you tonight. 165 00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:06,860 Weren't you a little hard on him? 166 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:08,899 Well, you knew I had a temper when you married me. 167 00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:11,820 Ned Flanders is on the phone. 168 00:10:11,899 --> 00:10:14,919 Oh, if this is about that stupid quarter again. 169 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,080 Hello, Ned. 170 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,120 Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy, 171 00:10:19,179 --> 00:10:20,600 but I'm kind of in a tizzy. 172 00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:24,179 Our son Todd just told us he didn't want to eat his damn vegetables. 173 00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,320 Well, you know, kids and vegetables. 174 00:10:26,879 --> 00:10:28,159 What was it, asparagus? 175 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,220 No, no, Reverend, the point is he said a bad word. 176 00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:32,659 Oh, oh, right, yeah. 177 00:10:33,179 --> 00:10:35,980 Well, kids usually pick these things up from someplace, 178 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:39,379 find out who's doing it, and, uh, direct them to the Bible. 179 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:40,679 Where in the Bible? 180 00:10:41,059 --> 00:10:42,899 Uh, page 900. 181 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:43,899 But, Reverend... 182 00:10:43,899 --> 00:10:46,059 Damn Flanders. 183 00:10:48,399 --> 00:10:49,940 Hey, Lace, a moment of your time. 184 00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:50,399 Yeah? 185 00:10:50,639 --> 00:10:52,799 Suppose I was writing a second letter to a girl 186 00:10:52,799 --> 00:10:54,639 and I already used up my A material. 187 00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:55,460 What should I say? 188 00:10:56,179 --> 00:10:59,200 Could it be there's a special someone you're not telling me about? 189 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,100 Oh, please. 190 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:00,740 Is it Terry? 191 00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:01,100 No. 192 00:11:01,179 --> 00:11:01,759 Is it Sherry? 193 00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:02,200 No. 194 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,360 Is it that girl with the lazy eye patch? 195 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:04,879 No. 196 00:11:05,059 --> 00:11:07,039 Is it that exchange student, Mixed Pop? 197 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,799 No, it's not for me. 198 00:11:09,259 --> 00:11:10,659 It's homework. 199 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:11,559 Sure it is. 200 00:11:11,919 --> 00:11:12,440 Hey, Bart. 201 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,139 Let's do some homework. 202 00:11:18,139 --> 00:11:19,720 Golly, Sergeant Carter. 203 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:23,100 I can't fix your Jeep, but maybe this will make it up to you. 204 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:28,120 Galveston, oh, Galveston. 205 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:29,720 Is this all he watches? 206 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:31,679 Well, he used to watch Davy and Goliath, 207 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,679 but he thought the idea of a talking dog was blasphemous. 208 00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:38,679 Hey, Mom, did you save the love letters Dad sent you? 209 00:11:38,779 --> 00:11:40,659 Of course I saved them. 210 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,960 Well, actually, there's only one. 211 00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:46,500 It's more of a love postcard from some brewery he visited. 212 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:53,779 maybe it's a beer talking march but you got a butt that won't quit they got these big chewy 213 00:11:53,779 --> 00:12:01,039 pretzels here that are all you guys with the beer no five dollars get out of here wow sight of dad 214 00:12:01,039 --> 00:12:08,580 i've never seen uh any first thoughts miss k i was just thinking oh you wouldn't be interested 215 00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:14,659 try me sometimes it helps to talk well i was just wishing i could meet a man who 216 00:12:14,659 --> 00:12:17,240 Likes the way I look first thing in the morning 217 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,899 Laughs at my jokes 218 00:12:18,899 --> 00:12:20,679 Can fix my car 219 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:21,179 Oh, yeah 220 00:12:21,179 --> 00:12:25,980 Dear Edna, your photo took my breath away 221 00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:29,980 Truly, yours is a butt that won't quit 222 00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:34,120 Yesterday morning, I put your picture up in my garage 223 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,399 To inspire me while I gapped my spark plugs 224 00:12:37,399 --> 00:12:41,200 At last, we've built a mission 225 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,019 Finally, the villagers have a place to pray 226 00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:48,320 Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves 227 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:53,019 We shall come rejoicing, bringing in the sheaves 228 00:12:53,019 --> 00:12:55,779 Well, he's not getting it from his brother, that's for darn sure 229 00:12:55,779 --> 00:13:00,039 Damn crappy nails, super glue my butt 230 00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:04,740 Oh, you bat-headed jackdaw 231 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:05,279 Homer? 232 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,799 What is it, Flanders? 233 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,279 Well, I'm afraid I have a bone to pick with you 234 00:13:09,279 --> 00:13:12,620 Look, if it's about your camcorder, I lost it, okay? 235 00:13:13,039 --> 00:13:13,440 No. 236 00:13:14,259 --> 00:13:17,419 I came to talk to you about your potty mouth. 237 00:13:17,519 --> 00:13:18,759 What the hell are you talking about? 238 00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:21,179 Look, Homer, all of us pull a few boners now and then. 239 00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:24,120 Go off half-cocked, make asses of ourselves. 240 00:13:24,919 --> 00:13:26,519 So, I don't want to be hard on you, 241 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:29,539 but I just wish you wouldn't curse in front of my boys. 242 00:13:29,799 --> 00:13:31,659 Oh, come on now, Flanders. 243 00:13:31,659 --> 00:13:34,659 I don't complain about your... 244 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:35,919 mustache. 245 00:13:36,759 --> 00:13:38,039 What's wrong with my mustache? 246 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,940 Makes you look like you got something to hide. 247 00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:42,519 What? 248 00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:45,379 People are talking. Lots of people. 249 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,120 Okay, mister. Well, you've got yourself a deal. 250 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:52,340 I'll shave off the soup strainer if you give the sailor talk the old heave-ho, okay? 251 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:55,240 Aye, aye, Admiral Butthead. 252 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,759 We now return to Two for Tunisia on Colorization Theater. 253 00:14:00,659 --> 00:14:08,750 A million poets could try for a million years and still describe but three-eighths of your beauty. 254 00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:12,370 Oh, slow down, Frenchie. This stuff is gold. 255 00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:13,649 Wow. 256 00:14:14,090 --> 00:14:16,929 A million poets working for a million years. 257 00:14:17,389 --> 00:14:18,370 You're so lucky. 258 00:14:18,909 --> 00:14:19,850 When are you going to meet him? 259 00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:21,509 First, I ask him to send a photo. 260 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,370 If he's got everything where it should be, I'm reeling him in. 261 00:14:30,049 --> 00:14:31,389 Strap on your skates, Gordy. 262 00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:32,350 You're going in. 263 00:14:33,889 --> 00:14:34,669 Hey, Marge. 264 00:14:34,929 --> 00:14:36,009 Do you want to hear something funny? 265 00:14:37,149 --> 00:14:39,090 Flanderstinks, I swear too much. 266 00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:42,950 Marge, you're not laughing. 267 00:14:43,009 --> 00:14:44,450 Well, you know, maybe he's right. 268 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:46,149 Well, what a surprise. 269 00:14:46,490 --> 00:14:48,269 Marge sticks up for Flanders. 270 00:14:48,649 --> 00:14:52,649 Can we have one conversation where you don't bring up your hero, Ned Flanders? 271 00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:54,289 Actually, Homer, you brought up Ned Flanders. 272 00:14:54,289 --> 00:14:55,289 Look, we're past that. 273 00:14:55,289 --> 00:14:56,470 I never said a word about Ned Flanders. 274 00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:59,549 Marge, maybe I do curse a little, but that's the way God made me. 275 00:14:59,769 --> 00:15:01,409 And I'm too old to stop now. 276 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:02,389 No, you're not. 277 00:15:02,389 --> 00:15:06,009 When my father got out of the Navy, he used to curse a blue streak. 278 00:15:06,269 --> 00:15:08,549 It almost cost him his job as a baby photographer. 279 00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:12,210 So my mom put a swear jar in the kitchen. 280 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:15,990 Every time he said a bad word, he put in a quarter. 281 00:15:16,429 --> 00:15:17,110 What do you think? 282 00:15:17,289 --> 00:15:20,970 Well, Marge, self-improvement has always been a passion of mine. 283 00:15:21,529 --> 00:15:23,009 Bring on the swear jar. 284 00:15:25,399 --> 00:15:26,840 Do I have to pay if I hit my hand with a hammer? 285 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:27,639 Yes, Homer. 286 00:15:27,799 --> 00:15:28,639 What if I catch on fire? 287 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:29,740 No, Homer. 288 00:15:29,799 --> 00:15:31,419 What if I see something really weird in the sky? 289 00:15:31,519 --> 00:15:32,299 Yes, Homer. 290 00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:33,460 What about when we snuggle? 291 00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:35,139 Hmm, that's okay. 292 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,279 Dear Woodrow, it's time for us to meet. 293 00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:40,820 Why don't we go out to dinner? 294 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,440 And afterward, we can go to my apartment for some home cooking. 295 00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:45,240 Huh? 296 00:15:46,299 --> 00:15:47,360 Ay, caramba! 297 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,019 Hungrily yours, Edna. 298 00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,639 Well, she's dangled on the line long enough. 299 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,019 It's time to boat this bass. 300 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:58,340 When I read your letters, I feel as if you are right here watching me. 301 00:15:59,779 --> 00:16:00,639 Bart, eyes down. 302 00:16:00,879 --> 00:16:01,679 Yes, ma'am. 303 00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:05,620 Edna, every second until we meet, stab me like a thousand needles. 304 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:08,159 Join me at the Gilded Truffle this Saturday at 8. 305 00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:13,899 perhaps later we will smooch up a storm sexually yours woody 306 00:16:13,899 --> 00:16:52,990 i can't help but feel partly responsible homer that was a 20 307 00:16:52,990 --> 00:17:07,130 oh you son of a homer you know i owe you one buddy no sooner had i shaved off the old cookie 308 00:17:07,130 --> 00:17:11,910 duster than a lady cast me in a commercial i'll tell you the way these checks keep coming in it's 309 00:17:11,910 --> 00:17:20,650 almost criminal you dirty best what do you think lisa how's the dog supposed to get in well he just 310 00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:37,910 goes oh oh woodrow how could you stand me up mrs k whoever this guy is you don't need him there are 311 00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:44,470 plenty of good men around. Name one. What's wrong with Principal Skinner? Seymour? Let's just say 312 00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:53,269 his mommy won't let him out to play. What about Coach Fortner? Wow. What about Groundskeeper 313 00:17:53,269 --> 00:17:58,710 Willie? I'm not even going to tell you what that guy's into. Bart, you are the closest thing to a 314 00:17:58,710 --> 00:18:15,000 in my life and that's so depressing I think I'm gonna cry oh fudge that's broken 315 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:23,640 fiddle-dee-dee that will require a tetanus shot I'm not going to swear but I am going to 316 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,480 Kick this doghouse down! 317 00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:30,759 Dad, this is not a commentary on your skills, 318 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,000 but we bought you a new doghouse. 319 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,200 Where'd you get the money? 320 00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:36,599 Oh, there was more than enough in the swear jar. 321 00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:39,140 And if you look inside the doghouse, 322 00:18:39,279 --> 00:18:40,799 there's a little surprise. 323 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,680 Maggie. Oh, cute. 324 00:18:43,779 --> 00:18:45,180 No, behind her. 325 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,380 Beer! 326 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,160 How did you know? 327 00:18:50,099 --> 00:18:51,099 Where's Maggie? 328 00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:53,220 Where's Maggie? 329 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,359 There's Maggie! 330 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:02,059 Mom, this is a little ahead of schedule, but I need help with my love life. 331 00:19:02,319 --> 00:19:05,960 Oh, my special little guy has a sweetheart. 332 00:19:07,299 --> 00:19:08,500 I knew it! 333 00:19:08,779 --> 00:19:10,119 All right, Bart, who's your girlfriend? 334 00:19:10,779 --> 00:19:11,859 Mrs. Krabappel. 335 00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:16,440 Bart, this is your teacher? 336 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,319 I should start going to parents' night. 337 00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:23,240 Homer, Bart, you did a very cruel thing. 338 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,539 Boy, you've got to go to your teacher and tell her the truth. 339 00:19:26,619 --> 00:19:28,980 No, Homer, the truth would humiliate her. 340 00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:32,400 Oh, Marge, I only said it because I thought that's what you wanted to hear. 341 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:34,619 Maybe we should write her another letter. 342 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,660 One that says goodbye, but lets her feel loved. 343 00:19:37,839 --> 00:19:39,039 Step aside, everyone. 344 00:19:39,859 --> 00:19:41,940 Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 345 00:19:42,839 --> 00:19:45,920 Dear baby, welcome to Dumpville. 346 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,059 Population, you. 347 00:19:48,059 --> 00:19:49,380 We'll all help. 348 00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:52,980 Now I'll be inoculating babies in Campuchia 349 00:19:52,980 --> 00:19:54,920 My heart will always be with you 350 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,819 That sucks 351 00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:58,019 How about crocodiles bit off my face? 352 00:19:58,099 --> 00:19:58,880 That's disgusting 353 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,000 And besides, when a woman loves a man 354 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,859 It doesn't matter that a crocodile bit off his face 355 00:20:04,859 --> 00:20:06,880 I may hold you to that, Marge 356 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,839 Okay, okay 357 00:20:08,839 --> 00:20:11,339 I cannot see you for the next five years 358 00:20:11,339 --> 00:20:13,700 For I will be farming the ocean floor 359 00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,779 I must finish this letter quickly 360 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:18,700 For I have only four minutes to live 361 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:20,359 Three simple words. 362 00:20:20,759 --> 00:20:22,319 I am gay. 363 00:20:22,599 --> 00:20:25,019 Homer, for the last time, I am not putting that in. 364 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,339 And any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name. 365 00:20:29,819 --> 00:20:32,599 Oh, that's very good, Lisa. 366 00:20:33,539 --> 00:20:34,500 P.S. I am gay. 367 00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:37,519 How shall we end it? 368 00:20:37,759 --> 00:20:40,720 How about with a love that will echo through the ages? 369 00:20:41,079 --> 00:20:43,380 Oh, that's sweet. 370 00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:45,380 Oh, Homer, you old honey dripper. 371 00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:46,740 You little... 372 00:20:46,740 --> 00:21:02,349 Wait, wait! 373 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,880 Dearest Edna, I must leave you. 374 00:21:08,539 --> 00:21:10,500 Why, I cannot say. 375 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,160 Where, you cannot know. 376 00:21:13,859 --> 00:21:16,779 How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. 377 00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:18,859 But one thing I can tell you. 378 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:24,279 Any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name Edna. 379 00:21:24,279 --> 00:21:24,740 Oh. 380 00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:32,019 Bart, it's such a nice day today. 381 00:21:32,099 --> 00:21:33,420 Let's have detention outside. 382 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:34,380 It's a date. 383 00:22:51,849 --> 00:22:52,410 Shh. 384 00:22:53,210 --> 00:22:54,170 Thank you.