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The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by A. Woof, as told to John Siska, illustrated by Lane Smith.

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Everybody knows the story of the three little pigs, or at least they think they do.

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But I'll let you in on a little secret.

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Nobody knows the real story because nobody has ever heard my side of the story.

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I'm the Woof, Alexander T. Woof.

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you can call me Al. I don't know how this whole big bad wolf thing got started, but it's all wrong.

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Maybe it's because of our diet. Hey, it's not my fault wolves eat cute little animals like

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bunnies and sheep and pigs. That's just the way we are. If cheeseburgers were cute,

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folks would probably think you were big and bad too. But like I was saying, the whole big bad

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wolf thing is all wrong. The real story is about a sneeze and a cup of sugar. This is

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the real story. Way back in Once Upon a Time time, I was making a birthday cake for my

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dear old granny. I had a terrible sneezing cold. I ran out of sugar. So I walked down

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the street to ask my neighbor for a cup of sugar. Now this neighbor was a pig and he wasn't too

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bright either. He had built his whole house out of straw. Can you believe it? I mean who in his

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right mind would build a house of straw? So of course the minute I knocked on the door

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It fell right in. I didn't want to just walk into someone else's house, so I called,

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little pig, little pig, are you in? No answer. I was just about to go home without the cup of sugar

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for my dear old granny's birthday cake. That's when my nose started to itch. I felt a sneeze

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coming on. Well, I huffed and I snuffed. Achoo! And I sneezed a great sneeze. And you know what?

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That whole darn straw house fell down. And right in the middle of the pile of straw was the first

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little pig, dead as a doornail. He had been home the whole time. It seemed a shame to

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leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw. So I ate it up. Think of it

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as a big cheeseburger just lying there. I was feeling a bit better, but I still didn't

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have my cup of sugar. So I went to the next neighbor's house. This neighbor was the first

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little pig's brother he was a little smarter but not much he had built his house of sticks

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i rang the bell on the stick house nobody answered i called mr pig mr pig are you in

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he yelled back go away wolf you can't come in i'm shaving the hairs on my chinny chin chin

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I had just grabbed the doorknob when I felt another sneeze coming on I huffed

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and I snuffed and I tried to cover my mouth but what you I sneezed a great

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sneeze and you're not going to believe it but this guy's house fell down just

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like his brothers when the dust cleared there was the second little pig dead as

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a doornail Wolf's honor now you know food will spoil if you just leave it out

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in the open so I did the only thing there was to do I had dinner again think

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of it as a second helping I was getting awfully full but my cold was feeling a

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little better and I still didn't have that cup of sugar for my dear old

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granny's birthday cake. So I went to the next house. This guy was the first and

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second little pig's brother. He must have been the brains of the family. He had

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built his house of bricks. I knocked on the brick house. No answer. I called Mr.

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Pig, Mr. Pig, are you in? And do you know what that rude little porker answered? Get

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out of here, wolf. Don't bother me again. Talk about impolite. He probably had a whole

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sack full of sugar. And he wouldn't give me even one little cup for my dear sweet old

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granny's birthday cake. What a pig. I was just about to go home and maybe make a nice birthday

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card instead of a cake when I felt my cold coming on. I huffed and I snuffed and I sneezed once

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again. Then the third little pig yelled, and your old granny can sit on a pin. Now, I'm usually a

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pretty calm fellow. But when someone talks about my granny like that, I go a little crazy.

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When the cops drove up, of course I was trying to break down this pig's door.

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And the whole time I was huffing and puffing and sneezing and making a real scene. The rest,

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as they say, is history. The news reporters found out about the two pigs I had for dinner.

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They figured a sick guy going to borrow a cup of sugar didn't sound very exciting

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So they jazzed up the story with all that huff and puff and blow your house down

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And they made me the big bad wolf

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That's it

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The real story

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I was framed

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But maybe you could loan me a cup of sugar?

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The end