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The first time I didn't give a fuck about something was when I was like 12 years old

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and I was this guy out in the validation.

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Can you get kidding me?

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And that's when I found out about the body attitude.

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Social validation.

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What a bullshit concept.

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Imagine thinking someone who isn't your mom actually cares about your well-being.

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Like the innate

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Augustantrism of humanity

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Got us thinking people would

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Actually know what it is, it would change our

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Perfumes or save our message

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Come on, we're too busy thinking that

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People are thinking about us while we're not thinking

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About anyone else at all

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It's a full paradox with the only exception of

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Comparison, people love

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Comparing

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Listen, I know I'm hot, people have told me

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And it's not such a big deal

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I mean, it's not my fault, you have such

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poor constant over yourself you need to talk shit about me like all right all right i'm not a god

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but neither am i a fucking bitch you'll try to blame others like a degree size in me into the

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manic pixie dream girl but an actual freaking nightmare for god's sake just stop living in

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mean girls for real don't get me wrong it's not like i completely hate that beyond myself but

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that's not my whole personality i guess i'm simply too good at convincing others the key is to play

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dumb. What? Nothing, love. Let them see you's a

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poor little lamb who needs to be rescued. That's how easy it is to play with guys.

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I'm not bragging about it but I've convinced myself the number of dudes I

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hooked up with will tell me how hot I am. That's why for such a long time I've

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created so much attention but it doesn't work. I've

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also tried girls but that's a different story.

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Anyway, back to the damn bitch thing.

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You know, when you're more intelligent than them, just don't feel bad.

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You don't have to give a shit about them or their words, girl.

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Well, not gonna lie, I actually do care sometimes.

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Like, I care when they call me slut.

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I care about looking too revealing.

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I care about my soldiers.

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I care about my eye bags.

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I care about my fucking studies.

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I actually do care.

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But I will never admit it out loud.

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I don't know.

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After all, fear is just an instinctive reaction aroused by the detection of imminent threat, so technically my anxiety is meant to defend me, right?

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Okay, nevermind, oh my god, I hate being too deep or overanalyzing myself. Like, worrying about all of this stuff is what makes me happy.

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Okay, blue or yellow?

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Like, the blue one makes me such a great ass, but the yellow one though is much nicer.

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Even in closer than intense thought behind it.

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I hate crying.

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Everybody says they look good with their cute little eyes, but for me it's just a big red

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tomato face.

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So I don't cry.

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Even if I want to.

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I won't do it.

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And anyway, people cry for stupid stuff.

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Oh, I failed my English class.

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Oh, I broke my nail. Oh, someone shouted at me. Oh, I am sad. Sad, sad, sad, sad. Everyone is fucking sad.

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I hate those people. You're still wet and high in the ears.

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Oh, your mom has yelled at you because you didn't make your fucking bed?

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Shut the fuck up. You have no freaking idea about what depression is.

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I hope one day you get a good reason to stop.

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I actually hope one day you get a good reason to justify your supposed depression and cool yourself for a fucking valid motive.

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You know, I need about three types of pills to feel some sort of...

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anything.

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So yeah, here's my dinner.

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First, we've got fluoxetine, an antidepressant that basically prevents you from

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feeling.

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Next, roteocetine, indicated to treat major depressive disorders.

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Last but not least, lorazepam, used to relieve anxiety by slowing down your brain activity.

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Fuck, I hate crying.

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It's incredible how frail life can be.

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For some people, it may just be a wrong comment in the bad moment and that's it.

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It's done for them.

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If I think about it deeply, I guess my most hypocritical self

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convince me I have problems which are sick enough to justify my actions but

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some actions cannot be justified at all and I don't know maybe it sounds

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contradictory or it might not make sense at all but I don't know

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I just feel different so different I feel weird so weird I feel

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uncomprehended so uncomprehended I feel alone so alone I feel hollow so hollow I

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don't feel yes that's it i don't feel but am i sure no but what did you expect it from the

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manic pixie drum girl who is an actual freaking nightmare right

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Me mira la cara con el tercer ojo abierto

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Gracias a la tristeza al menos tengo el sentimiento

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Son pecados si lo pienso y son dos más si se lo digo

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No siento arrepentimiento, no le doy vuelta si sigo